I'm fed up................

I'm fed up wit everything I've been through starting at the age of nine. Mom says that nothing is wrong, but I know she's lying. I was nine years old, but I was smarter then people thought. Later that day mom pulled me aside to another room, because she said that she needed to talk to me. Mom turns to me with a disappointed look on her face and says "You know when you had asked me if anything was wrong and I said everything was fine, well I was lying." I sit there, because I knew what was about to come up next. I saw it coming. Mom says "Me and you dad (really my step dad), won't end up staying together anymore, but don't tell your little brother and sister". "Okay mom" I said kind of disappointed. I thought that they could work things out, but I guess not. I finally realized that they were finally going to break-up, because mom kept leaving and when she came home she would pack then turn to us and say that she loves us and that she's sorry. Then before I knew it she was gone again.
Then one day mom had came home and dad started arguing with her. After the argument dad had wanted me little sister, brother, and me to leave my mom alone in the leaving room on a chair crying, when i was walking to the back of the house while my dad (step dad) was trying to make me hurry to the back. The whole time I was walking I was looking back at mom crying into her hands, and thinking that I should walk back toward her, stand there, and hold her to make her feel better. While sitting in the back room my little sister and I were trying to forget about everything that we had just saw. We were trying not to cry, or to say anything about what we had just saw, so we were talking about what was going to happen. Out of dead silence I say to my sister and brother that no matter happens nothing will every split us three up. My little sister, brother, and I are like the three musketeers and nothing can make us get mad enough at each other to stop talking to each other. That night when I fell to sleep, trying not to cry, I was thing about how our almost perfect family was going to break-up. The next morning I was wonder if what had happened was a dream but my sister turns to me and says "It wasn't a dream". Me running to the room crying; not wanting to remember of anything that I had saw. Now I close my eyes and wish that everything was back to normal.